I’d faced death countless times alongside Julian Blackwood for seven years.
Everyone knew I was his absolute favorite.
He’d even told me more than once that he’d marry me.
But when I returned home, my heart brimming with joy after completing the mission he’d assigned, I walked right into his engagement ceremony with his idealized first love.
Seraphina Thorne leaned shyly into his arms, asking,
“Maya Shaw saved your life, didn’t she? You even said you’d marry her. Are you really sure you won’t regret this?”
Julian just chuckled, utterly dismissive.
“If saving my life meant I had to marry her, I’d have a long list of wives by now. Besides, a mercenary living paycheck to paycheck like her? Marry *me*? That’s a joke!”
His contemptuous tone hit me like a wave of icy despair.
But after I left,
Why did that man, who swore he wouldn’t regret it, desperately search for me, claiming he did?
1
It was drizzling the day I returned home after completing Julian’s mission.
The sky was hazy and indistinct, making everything seem unclear.
As usual, I instinctively headed to his villa.
This time, I’d even brought him a birthday gift from overseas.
But the moment I reached the villa, I froze.
The usually quiet villa was buzzing with activity, many people coming and going.
At first, I thought they were all guests for his birthday party.
But as I listened to snippets of conversations from the passing crowd, I finally realized it was Julian Blackwood’s engagement ceremony today.
Through the villa’s glass window,
I immediately spotted him in the crowd, and the woman by his side.
She had long, dark hair and was wearing a stunning, elegant deep-red gown.
Both held champagne flutes, celebrating with the well-wishers.
“Congratulations, Mr. Blackwood! After all these years, you’ve finally got your wish and are with Ms. Thorne!”
Receiving the blessings, they exchanged a sweet, knowing smile.
It hit me then – this woman was Seraphina Thorne, the idealized first love Julian had always pined for.
They were engaged?
What did that make me?
A side piece? A fling? Or maybe just utterly disposable?
A sudden urge to storm in and confront Julian flared within me.
How could he get engaged to another woman when he’d promised to marry me?
But just then, Seraphina leaned shyly into his arms and asked,
“Maya Shaw saved your life, didn’t she? You even said you’d marry her. Are you really sure you won’t regret getting engaged to me now?”
Julian just chuckled, utterly dismissive.
“If saving my life meant I had to marry her, I’d have a long list of wives by now. Besides, a mere mercenary like her, wanting to marry *me*? Do you think that’s even possible?”
“Even if *I* wanted to, my family would never allow someone of her standing into our elite circle!”
My foot, mid-step, instantly froze.
So, that’s how Julian truly saw me all along—worthless.
He’d been lying to me this whole time; he never intended to marry me!
It felt like I finally saw him for who he was.
He’d tricked me into going overseas with a mission, all so he could have an undisturbed, peaceful engagement.
And here I was, foolishly rushing back, risking injury and death, completing the mission early.
All because I didn’t want to miss Julian’s birthday.
“Maya, you’re back today? Well, perfect timing! You can join the young master’s birthday party and engagement ceremony!”
I’d been standing outside the villa for a long time before Mr. Davies, the butler, recognized me.
I used to frequent the villa, so Mr. Davies knew me well. He immediately pulled me inside.
Julian, who’d been smiling, scowled the moment he saw me.
He looked as if he feared I was there to cause trouble.
I knew my timing was terribly off.
But my feet wouldn’t move; they were rooted to the spot.
Finally, Seraphina led Julian over to me.
She looked at me with an air of superiority and said,
“Ms. Shaw, the mission is complete, right? Please hand over the item.”
I instinctively looked at Julian.
He, however, impatiently urged,
“What are you looking at me for? Just do as you’re told!”
My nose stung, and I bit down hard, forcing myself to retrieve the box Julian had instructed me to bring back from overseas.
Inside was a necklace.
Seraphina eagerly had Julian put it on her.
I was completely rigid.
Before I left, Julian had repeatedly stressed how important this box was, telling me I had to protect it and bring it back, even if it cost me my life.
Only now did I realize.
The box I’d nearly died for, shedding blood and sweat to retrieve, was nothing more than a gift for Seraphina!
2
Julian and I met seven years ago.
I’d failed a mission and was being hunted by enemies. Julian saved me.
I still remember the surprise in his eyes when he rescued me.
He’d said something about a woman daring to take on a suicidal line of work like being a mercenary!
Because I feared leaking information, he was the one who nursed me back to health for over two weeks.
Once, when I ran a high fever, Julian pulled an all-nighter watching over me.
Later, he chuckled, saying he’d never cared for anyone so diligently in his entire life.
He then said he wanted to hire me, as a way to “get back at me” for all the trouble.
At the time, I thought it would be some incredibly difficult task.
Only after I agreed did I realize they were two extremely simple missions.
They weren’t torture at all; strictly speaking, it was just him handing me money.
Later, as I grew closer to Julian, I became his dedicated mercenary.
For seven years, I knew he secretly admired Seraphina.
There was even one time when he chased after Seraphina overseas and ran into an ambush.
It was I who fought desperately to get him back home safely, taking two bullets for him.
That day, on the plane back home,
Julian’s eyes were red from crying. He gripped my hand tightly and said,
“Maya, you’re my mercenary. You can’t die without my permission!”
“As long as you live, I’ll marry you!”
The moment I heard those words, my heart actually fluttered with shyness.
I never thought he knew about my feelings for him.
It was because of that promise that my raw survival instinct dragged me through that crisis.
When I woke up in the hospital, my first question was to ask Julian if he was serious.
He nodded very earnestly then.
“Of course, it’s true! I said I’d marry you, and I will!”
But now, he’d chosen someone else.
Looking at Seraphina, who was admiring the necklace before me, I could no longer control my emotions.
I lowered my head and turned to leave when the birthday gift box in my arms slipped out.
I bent down in a hurry, but a sharp pain from my abdominal wound made me flinch.
Seraphina picked up the gift box.
She opened it to reveal a rather inexpensive bracelet.
It even had “JB,” Julian Blackwood’s initials, that I had carefully woven into it.
“Maya, this is for Julian, isn’t it? With his initials and everything, you really put a lot of thought into it.”
Then, her tone shifted, laced with disdain.
“But this doesn’t look very valuable, does it? Julian wouldn’t wear such a cheap bracelet. There’s no brand logo; did you make it yourself?”
I bit my lower lip so hard I tasted blood.
“It’s his birthday present!”
The words had barely left my mouth when a chorus of laughter erupted.
Julian, tears in his eyes from laughing, seemed amused. He casually took the bracelet, glanced at it, then indifferently tossed it onto a nearby table already stained with cream and red wine.
Finally, he spoke, utterly nonchalant.
“Alright, I get it.”
In that moment, I almost wished he’d mock me hysterically, or scoff at my foolish infatuation.
But that detached, indifferent expression was like a sword piercing my heart, an unbearable pain.
I looked up, asking Julian, word for word,
“Don’t you have anything to say to me?”
He frowned, then slowly patted his head, pretending to just remember.
“Oh, right. You worked hard on this mission too. I’ll have Mr. Davies transfer the remaining payment to you later.”
I forced a laugh.
It was a brittle, ugly sound.
The strong taste of blood filled my mouth, and the wound in my abdomen ripped open again.
But no physical pain could compare to the ache in my heart.
3
After leaving the villa, I went to a small cottage.
This was the same cottage where Julian had nursed me for two weeks after he saved me seven years ago.
Later, I bought this cottage, holding it as my most cherished memory.
Seven years passed, and all the decorations in the cottage remained unchanged. Not even a speck of dust could be found.
I knew this was because Julian had people clean it every day.
I had once told Julian.
If we ever got married, I would choose this place as my bridal home.
Since then, he would often come to check on it.
He said he would always protect everything I cared about.
But now, it seemed like my own words were coming back to haunt me.
The wedding day would likely never arrive.
Lying on the bed, I changed into my pajamas, preparing to clean my abdominal wound.
The sound of the lock turning on the door echoed, and Julian, smelling faintly of alcohol, walked in.
Seeing the wound on my abdomen, his eyes immediately filled with concern.
“Maya, how did you get hurt again? This mission was just to retrieve a necklace!”
Then, he familiarly pulled out the first-aid kit from the bedside cabinet, expertly wiped the wound with alcohol, disinfected it, and finally applied a fresh bandage.
Julian performed the entire sequence of actions with practiced ease.
It felt as though I was back in the past.
I subconsciously reached out to gently caress Julian’s face.
But my hand brushed against a deep red hickey on his neck.
In that second, it felt like a knife was lodged in my throat, and I couldn’t utter another word.
Not until Julian put the first-aid kit away, ruffled my hair, and continued,
“Don’t push yourself so hard next time. You’re a woman; you don’t need to risk your life like men do. If anything were to happen to you, what would I do?”
I looked up at him.
Julian’s downcast eyes were full of tenderness for me.
Yet this was the very man who had broken his vows to me!
“Julian Blackwood, did you get engaged to Seraphina today?”
After a long silence, I finally asked the question.
He frowned slightly, and his voice suddenly turned cold.
“That’s my private business. Why are you asking so many questions?”
I pressed my lips together, stubbornly meeting Julian’s gaze.
It was the first time I had ever looked at him like this.
And it was the first time Julian had ever brushed me off with “private business.”
In the early days of our relationship,
Julian hadn’t been like this at all.
He would go to great lengths to make me understand him, even sharing confidential contracts with me without reservation.
Fearing I might inadvertently cause problems, I instinctively kept away from his study.
One day, Julian held me close, telling me he would always be transparent with me, always have no secrets!
Now I knew his “always” had only lasted a mere five years!
His so-called transparency with me was, in fact, highly selective.
The pressure in his eyes grew, quickly turning to cold indifference.
“Come on, don’t be difficult.”
“The Maya I know is a very obedient woman; she wouldn’t make me unhappy!”
With that, Julian left without a second thought.
A moment later, the roar of a sports car engine echoed from downstairs.
I couldn’t hold back anymore; my nose stung, and tears streamed down my face.
A chill of despair seeped into my soul. Now, he wouldn’t even spare me a flimsy excuse.
4
The next day, just as dawn was breaking, I was woken by the searing pain from my abdominal wound.
I’d only slept three hours, and dark circles bloomed under my eyes.
I wanted to go back to sleep, but my injuries wouldn’t allow it.
The pain persisted until full daylight, when Mr. Davies, the villa’s butler, arrived at the cottage with a doctor to check on my injuries.
My type of gunshot wound usually requires a private doctor; it’s not something to show up at a regular hospital for.
So, for the seven years I’d been with Julian, he had always secretly arranged for doctors to treat me.
The doctor quickly gave me anti-inflammatory medication, re-dressed the wound, and applied new bandages.
Before leaving, he specifically instructed me not to engage in strenuous activities for a while, to prevent the wound from reopening and risking a severe hemorrhage.
“Ms. Shaw, you see, the young master still cares about you deeply. He called me before dawn to arrange for your treatment.”
“However, sometimes, darling, there’s a clear line between us due to our different statuses. It’s best not to overthink other matters.”
Mr. Davies chuckled and told me many things.
I knew what he meant.
He was warning me, in no uncertain terms, not to entertain any improper ideas.
I remained silent, my mind a blank.
I used to be so certain Julian loved me.
But now, I couldn’t find any trace of his love.
Perhaps there was a glimmer of it once, but it wasn’t enough for him to defy his entire family’s wishes and choose to be with me, no matter the cost.
After all, I was just a low-class mercenary, living paycheck to paycheck!
After the treatment, I lay idly in the cottage for the entire day.
My mind was filled with everything Julian had ever told me.
Lost in a hazy stupor, my phone suddenly rang.
Looking at the screen, it was Julian calling.
I hadn’t expected him to contact me today.
“How are your injuries?”
“I’m fine, nothing major.”
“Then come over.”
Julian asked me to meet him at a club.
I hadn’t expected him to call me to a place like this.
“Maya, you’re here.”
He had Seraphina in his arms, looking completely calm when he saw me.
Seraphina, however, walked up to me, curiously sizing me up.
“They say Ms. Shaw is Julian’s most formidable mercenary, so it’s no wonder you successfully retrieved this necklace for me.”
She toyed with the very necklace I had risked my life to retrieve.
Then she took my hand, eagerly saying,
“Speaking of which, I’ve never seen a real spar before. How about Ms. Shaw gives me a little demonstration today?”
I froze for a moment.
A demonstration?
I’m a mercenary, not some circus monkey to be put on display.
I bit my lip, my gaze fixed on Julian in the distance, hoping he would say something, anything.
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