After five years in prison, the first thing I did was book a natural burial.
“Ms. Vance, this is your reserved natural burial service. After you pass, your body will be taken to the Alps for a green burial. You’ll need to pay a deposit now, with the remaining balance due within two weeks.”
I nodded, fumbling a worn plastic bag out of my faded jeans. I counted the bills and coins I’d saved for so long behind bars, over and over, before finally managing to hand over the full deposit.
I’d been diagnosed with late-stage cancer in prison. They estimated I only had a month left to live.
I remembered years ago, Julian Thorne and I had promised each other that we’d get married in the Alps, letting the eternal spirit of those majestic mountains witness our unwavering love.
Now, the wedding was impossible. Let me rest forever in that pure land; it would be some small comfort.
The natural burial wasn’t cheap. After leaving the agency, to settle the remaining balance, I went to apply for a waitress job at the ‘Night Feast’ club. My criminal record meant I couldn’t find any legitimate work, and this was a notorious high-end establishment in the city’s red-light district, where the wages were surprisingly good.
After running through a few instructions, they handed me a uniform and told me to start that very night.
After a quick training session, I carried a tray of drinks into a VIP room. The lights were dim, and many wealthy elites and socialites were playing games. I lowered my head, half-crouching by the coffee table, carefully setting down the bottles. Just as I was about to turn and leave, that familiar, cold voice suddenly drifted over from nearby.
My body stiffened, and I froze instantly!
Sure enough, on the high-backed sofa, Julian was seated, the undeniable center of attention. His starkly handsome features, usually so unyielding, seemed even more regal and aloof under the shifting lights.
Five years later, his face hadn’t changed at all, but there was an added icy aura that warned others to keep their distance.
I couldn’t help but glance at him again, and that’s when I noticed the woman he had his arm around. It was Charlotte Sterling, my best friend.
They seemed to be talking about their wedding.
“The wedding will be exactly how you like it, by the beach, with pink roses covering everything.”
“If you didn’t like the last dress the designer made, I’ll have someone redo it. Everything will be to your taste.”
Listening to that familiar voice, my thoughts drifted back, pulling me into the past. Five years ago, I was so close to becoming Julian’s bride.
We had grown up together.
When my parents died in an accident, Julian was there, helping me through those unbearable years. He cycled me to school, fought my bullies, and even, flushing bright red, bought me pads during my first period.
Then, naturally, we fell in love, taking step after step towards the altar. Until, on the eve of our wedding, I accidentally hit Julian’s mother with my car, killing her!
I’ll never forget that night. Julian’s eyes were bloodshot, crimson with fury. He cornered me against the wall, demanding to know why, if there was some hidden reason.
I had never felt such despair. I looked up and laughed, “There was no reason. She caught me in bed with another man, and she swore she’d tell you everything. I just snapped, got into the car, and… that was it.”
I’ll never forget the look Julian gave me then. Fury, hatred, and betrayal intertwined, a suffocating web that trapped me completely, making me feel as if I couldn’t breathe.
The story ended with Julian himself sending me to prison.
During my five years in prison, I replayed it endlessly: if I had told him the truth, would Julian and I have ended up like this?
But my rational mind reminded me: I couldn’t.
Because his mother, Victoria, had suffered from severe depression. On the eve of their wedding, she’d had a mental episode, mistaking his bodyguard for his father, and they’d ended up in bed together.
I had gone there to discuss wedding plans with Julian and had accidentally witnessed the scene. Victoria, once lucid, was filled with regret. She tearfully begged me never to tell anyone. Though I was conflicted, I ultimately promised to keep her secret.
But I never expected that as I got into my car to leave, Victoria, overwhelmed by despair, would throw herself in front of it.
Julian had been a prodigy from a prominent family since childhood. If this scandal ever got out, it would bring ruinous damage to him and the Thorne Corporation. People in their circle would look at him differently, might even question his legitimacy within high society.
So, for Julian’s sake, I could only swallow the bitter pill alone, taking responsibility for everything.
Now, with my terminal illness, there was even less need to reveal the truth. If he hated me, let him continue to hate me. That way, when I left, I could do so cleanly, without any lingering ties.
My body trembling, I was about to slip away when a voice from behind suddenly called my name.
“Eleanor Vance? You’re out of prison!”
I flinched, not daring to meet the sharp gaze from the high-backed sofa. Just as I tried to leave, someone deliberately stuck out a leg and tripped me.
Unprepared, I slammed into the coffee table, falling hard to the floor. Several bottles of liquor crashed and shattered with me. My hand was cut in several places, blood welling out profusely.
Laughter instantly erupted in the room. Everyone stood, scrutinizing my pathetic, disheveled state.
“Eleanor Vance, it really is you! Just out of prison and already working? You’re certainly dedicated!”
I kept my head down, silent, only pressing my hand against my bleeding wounds.
The person spoke again.
“What are you waiting for? You spilled liquor everywhere, now clean it up.”
“And remember, you’ll clean it on your knees.”
Another wave of laughter washed over me. I could only pull a rag from my apron and kneel, wiping the spilled liquor again and again. I didn’t look up, but I could feel Julian’s hateful gaze fixed coldly on me. It was like a sharp blade hanging over my head, ready to strike a fatal blow. He hated me so much; he must be happier than anyone to see me tormented.
After quickly wiping up the liquor, I tried to stand, but the person in front of me wasn’t ready to let me off so easily.
“Trying to leave already? Those bottles you broke are priceless. How do you plan to pay for them?”
I wrung my hands, at a loss, not even daring to look up. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to.”
“You think an ‘I’m sorry’ is enough? I doubt you can afford it. Tell you what, I won’t say I didn’t give you a chance. Just crawl between my legs, and we’ll call it even.”
The person finished, smirking as he propped one leg on a stool, his gaze mocking me. A fresh wave of laughter spread through the room, followed by a chorus of shouts.
“Crawl! Crawl!”
I bit my lip, my cheeks burning. Their mocking stares felt like daggers piercing my back; there was no escape. I had no money to pay, and the person in front of me was clearly just doing Julian’s bidding. If I didn’t kneel, they’d find another way to torment me.
In those five years in prison, dignity had long become meaningless to me.
My vision blurred. I bit my lip until I almost tasted blood. Finally, before everyone’s eyes, with a sickening thud, I sank to my knees before the man.
Just as I bent down, preparing to crawl between his legs, the coffee table was violently kicked over, and an icy voice sliced through the air.
“Enough!”
Then, a sharp pain shot through my arm. Before I could react, I was pulled out of the room.
In the dim hallway, Julian slammed me against the wall, his eyes burning with hatred and coldness.
“Eleanor Vance, is this how you degrade yourself?”
My back hit the cold marble, and I shivered involuntarily. It took me a moment to turn my head. “You shouldn’t defend me. If you do, how could your mother ever rest in peace?”
My words evidently infuriated him. He shoved me away. “Defend you? You’re thinking too much. I pulled you out to make a deal!”
“You’re short on money, aren’t you? Spend the night guarding my room door tonight, and I’ll give you money. For the coming days, you’ll stay by my side. I promise, I’ll pay you more than you’d earn serving drinks.”
He finished, and without waiting for my refusal, he took a wad of cash and savagely threw it at my face. The impact made my head snap to the side, and blood immediately seeped from my cheek.
I knew his demand was nothing more than a way to get revenge.
And he certainly succeeded.
That night, as I stood outside his door, I heard him and Charlotte making love.
The man’s muffled groans and the woman’s moans continued for a long time, never stopping. Yet, I stood there like a soulless husk, not even feeling the tears that streamed down my face. The moans lasted all night. It wasn’t until dawn that Julian finally opened his door, looking at me coldly.
“Clean up the room.”
I looked at the “battlefield” of condoms strewn across the floor, my heart clenching, but I said nothing, only nodding silently. Charlotte emerged from the bathroom, covered in hickeys. She paused, seeing the scene, then linked her arm through his, coaxing, “Julian, it’s all in the past. Just let Eleanor go.”
Julian’s lips curled into a smirk, but no warmth reached his eyes. “She wants money, I give her money to do things for me. A fair trade. Why should I ‘let her go’?” He then turned, embracing her, and his tone softened. “Don’t worry. Before the wedding, I’ll make sure she’s out of our lives for good.”
For the next few days, wherever Julian and Charlotte went, he’d drag me along. When someone offered a toast, he’d make me take the drink, letting me get completely wasted until I was throwing up endlessly in the restroom, but he wouldn’t let up.
During meals, he made me serve Charlotte like a personal maid: peel her shrimp, debone her fish, wipe her hands. He even made me accompany her to the restroom. All the while, he showered Charlotte with affection, right in front of everyone.
After every social engagement, he’d impassively pull a stack of cash from his car and throw it hard at me. “Your payment for today.”
I never reacted to his humiliation. I’d just silently bend down, pick up the crumpled bills, and carefully tuck them into my bag. Yes, I needed the money. Once I had enough, I could disappear from his world entirely. A natural burial, leaving not a single bone, not a shred of flesh. As if I had never existed in this world at all.
On Charlotte’s birthday, Julian threw her an extravagant party. His devotion to Charlotte was evident to everyone. The entire venue was decorated exactly to Charlotte’s liking; I heard they’d used a million roses for the setting alone. Charlotte’s dress that day was the very one Julian’s mother had designed for her future daughter-in-law years ago.
They made their entrance, arm in arm, instantly becoming the focus of everyone’s attention. Julian was as handsome and distinguished as ever, but the woman by his side was no longer me.
My mind involuntarily replayed our own engagement. That occasion, too, had been grand and elaborate. All their friends and family had witnessed his deep affection for me, as we walked hand in hand, about to enter the gates of happiness. He had presented the family heirloom ring, placing it on my finger, saying that with his ring, I was his, and we would never be apart.
The murmurs around me broke my reverie.
“What was Eleanor Vance thinking, anyway? She grew up with Julian; he practically spoiled her rotten, doted on her every whim. And she goes and runs over his mother.”
“Exactly. Everyone in the city knew how much Julian loved her back then. I really don’t know why she did it.”
“If that hadn’t happened, they’d probably have kids in elementary school by now.”
“Don’t even think about it. Can you understand the mind of such a viper-hearted woman? She deserves everything she’s getting now.”
“Yeah, women like her should just die!”
I listened to their curses, my face devoid of emotion. As they wished, I would be dead soon enough.
After the party, Julian was still bidding farewell to guests. Charlotte and I waited for him by the lakeside near the entrance. This was our first time alone since my release. Charlotte was silent for a long time before she finally spoke.
“Eleanor, do you know? I’ve always been deeply in love with Julian. I fell for him even before you two got together.”
“Back then, you both loved each other, and I had given up on him, preparing to bless your union. But why did you betray Julian?”
“Do you know how much Julian has suffered all these years? I finally managed to comfort him, so why did you have to reappear now and stir up his feelings again?”
I looked at the woman before me, never having imagined that my best friend, who had been by my side all these years, had secretly loved my man. But even now that I had reappeared, I never intended to disrupt their lives. Someone who “killed” his mother, someone on the verge of death, was destined to contend for nothing.
“Lottie, I’ll be leaving soon.”
Charlotte looked at me coldly, a flicker in her eyes, clearly not believing my words. Suddenly, she took off her engagement ring and forcefully threw it into the lake.
“Eleanor, you threw my ring in the water, so you should help me get it back, shouldn’t you?”
As her words fell, Julian’s figure appeared, swift as a shadow. He angrily grabbed my hand, his eyes burning with fury.
“Eleanor Vance, can’t you go one minute without causing trouble? What does the ring I gave Charlotte have to do with you? Why would you suddenly throw it away?!”
I met his gaze. His furious eyes held a flicker of something else—was it… expectation? Was he hoping I’d thrown Charlotte’s ring out of jealousy? A bitter taste filled my mouth, but I forced a smile onto my face.
“Why would I throw away an insignificant ring? To me, it’s worth less than the stack of cash you toss my way.”
Julian’s eyes instantly turned to ice. He shoved me hard, sending me tumbling into the freezing lake with a splash. My gasp was swallowed by the water, but he’d already turned his back, not even sparing me a glance.
“I don’t care how you do it; you will get that ring back for me.”
With that, he pulled Charlotte away, hurrying off without hesitation.
It was the dead of winter; fresh snow had just fallen, and the air was brutally cold. Shards of ice floated on the lake’s surface, chilling me just to look at them. Submerged in that icy water, my entire entire body stiffened, and the muddy lakebed was filled with sharp debris, drawing blood from my feet.
I bit my lip, diving down again and again, then surfacing again and again. I continued this mechanical search in the lake all night, until blood stained a large portion of the water. Finally, I found the ring at the bottom of the lake.
When I appeared before Julian, battered and bruised, utterly pathetic, his brow furrowed briefly. Then, with a cold face, he pulled a stack of cash from his pocket and once again ruthlessly threw it at me.
As always, I took the money and left in silence.
For the next few days, Julian uncharacteristically didn’t bother me.
Until one day, returning from an outing, I saw Julian’s entire villa engulfed in thick, rolling smoke as I stepped out of the car. A sudden premonition of dread surged through me. Julian was in danger!
The thought flashed through my mind, and I instinctively rushed toward the fire. Julian always preferred quiet, so the household staff only came to clean when he wasn’t home. He’d been staying in for days, so there would be no one else in the entire house but him!
Being intimately familiar with the house, I quickly found a semi-conscious Julian in the bedroom. The fire had spread incredibly fast. He must have taken a sleeping pill and been resting, which is why he was trapped so easily, suffocated by the smoke before he even knew what was happening. I strained, pulling him onto my shoulders, and slowly, laboriously, moved toward the door.
The fire grew larger and larger, almost completely cutting off our escape route. As I hesitated, a burning beam suddenly crashed down. Without a thought, I threw myself over Julian, shielding him. The searing hot wood slammed into my back, and the pain nearly knocked me out. But looking at Julian, slumped against my shoulder, brows furrowed in his deep unconsciousness, I felt a determination I’d never known. I had to get Julian out, even if it cost me my life.
And so, with a desperate resolve, utterly disregarding my own life, I somehow managed to drag a man over six feet tall out of the raging inferno. We collapsed onto the lawn, and I struggled to breathe the fresh air, my entire body covered in wounds. Seeing Charlotte rushing frantically toward us, I mustered my last ounce of strength and pushed Julian into her arms.
“When he wakes up, tell him you were the one who saved him.”
Charlotte looked at me, perplexed by my request. She called out to me as I stood to leave, asking again, “Tell me, Ellie, did you really kill Julian’s mother on purpose?”
I swayed as I stood, my body stiffening at her question. After a long pause, I finally spoke.
“Yes.”
With that, I hurried away, never looking back.
In the days that followed, Charlotte diligently cared for Julian. And when he learned that Charlotte had risked her life to save him, his devotion to her became enviable, almost doting. Their intimate encounters grew more frequent. Standing guard outside their room, I clearly heard their passionate nights and the sweet nothings he whispered to her.
I thought, perhaps now, Julian truly loved Charlotte. And that was good. He deserved to find his true happiness. And I, like a rat in the sewer, could only darkly glimpse at others’ joy.
The wounds on my back still throbbed. I could only secretly apply ointment when no one was around. One day, as usual, I was hiding in my small room, taking off my jacket to apply medication, when the door suddenly pushed open.
It was Julian.
His gaze landed on the grotesque scars on my back, and his eyes instantly reddened. Then, he walked toward me, step by trembling step, and spoke.
“What are these burns from?”
“Were you the one who saved me that day?”
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